Today has not been a very good day. First, I only got a couple of hours of sleep and had to get up this morning for church. Nothing inside me wanted to go. I was tired, depressed and angry with the world. Or at least my small segment of it. I also felt totally justified in my anger. Now, just in case you don't know this, let me tell you something.
CHURCH IS THE WRONG AND THE RIGHT PLACE FOR YOU WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY.
It's the wrong place if you want to wallow in your anger and hang on to it for as long as you can. It's the right place if you can embrace the music and get humble enough to realize that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger and move on. Today, I chose to wallow.
I was still mourning the recent death of my sister, still in shock but more than that, I was angry. My sister did not have to die. She chose to die when she began drinking at a young age. Now, if you asked her if she was an alcoholic, she would say 'no'. But she finished off a bottle of wine every night for thirty years and the simple truth of the matter is, she destroyed her liver. And if that wasn't bad, the worst is yet to come!
I come from a family of eight children; I'm the oldest. Mary's husband, Steve, had the gall to say,
"I didn't know she was drinking."
Who do you think was buying the booze when Mary was housebound and too sick to eat? Yes, I was ripping mad and I still am at the level of denial my family is expressing right now. Of the eight of us, I'd say that five of us are alcoholics; possibly six. One brother may have cleaned up his act; quite frankly, he might just be doing a better job of hiding his alcoholism. But the others are all heavy drinkers and are all in denial of their condition.
Denial is a level of hell that too many accept as being just another day in the life. Denial slowly changes our acceptance of hell as just another day at the beach. I know that if I could talk to Mary right now, she would have great insight into her life and would be begging our siblings to PLEASE STOP DRINKING. She would apologize for not taking it seriously. She would cry when she thought of the influence she had had on her children. She would be a totally different person because meeting your Creator has that kind of affect on you. All the denial is stripped away and all that's left is the truth.
What is your truth today? Are you struggling with addictions? Are you fighting depression, (like I am) and sometimes feel like you're losing? Cutting? Suicide? Whatever you're struggling with ~ let's talk.
I am not a professional counselor and I don't have all the answers, but I care and won't charge you a dime. You can reach me here by sending me your email on the field in the right hand column, or message me on handouts at jabeau.2015@gmail.com
Let's talk.
Denial is a level of hell that too many accept as being just another day in the life. Denial slowly changes our acceptance of hell as just another day at the beach. I know that if I could talk to Mary right now, she would have great insight into her life and would be begging our siblings to PLEASE STOP DRINKING. She would apologize for not taking it seriously. She would cry when she thought of the influence she had had on her children. She would be a totally different person because meeting your Creator has that kind of affect on you. All the denial is stripped away and all that's left is the truth.
What is your truth today? Are you struggling with addictions? Are you fighting depression, (like I am) and sometimes feel like you're losing? Cutting? Suicide? Whatever you're struggling with ~ let's talk.
I am not a professional counselor and I don't have all the answers, but I care and won't charge you a dime. You can reach me here by sending me your email on the field in the right hand column, or message me on handouts at jabeau.2015@gmail.com
Let's talk.
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