What is Normal?

 

What is normal? What does it look like, feel like and where does it come from? Why are some people normal and others are freaks, or morons, or creepy?

Who decides what normal is? The 'cool people'? Celebrities? Magazines? TV?

When I was a kid, normal was anyone other than me. Any idea, other than mine. I always felt like the odd man out. I was the last one picked whenever we had teams in phys-ed. I was the one that 'everybody' laughed at when I came in the room. I was only ever invited to a classmate's birthday party once, and only because they had to invite all the kids in the class. I know, because the 'normal' girl in the class told me that that was why I had been invited. My only friend was a girl with severe acne and a limp. She suffered at the hands of the 'normal kids' even more than I did.

When I was 15, my family moved from the east coast to the west coast, 3000 miles away from my past and suddenly my life took a turn for the better. I became 'cool' and was considered to be the 'normal' one in my circle of friends. It was overwhelming, the change. Looking back on it, I have to admit that I was still the same, quiet, awkward teenager. But for a number of other awkward teenagers, I was the 'cool' one ~ I was their 'normal'. And even tho there were other kids in my class who had their own followers, I had found acceptance in my own little group we called 'The Cools'.

So what made the difference between the hell I endured pre-move and the acceptance I enjoyed post-move? I think it had less to do with the move, and more to do with perception. I had believed that I was nothing while surrounded by kids that reinforced my belief. In their eyes, I had failed their assessment of what was cool. But in the eyes of a new crowd of kids, somehow, I measured up to what they thought was cool.

Nothing has changed in regards to school popularity. The same dynamic is alive today. But I want to ask you another question.

Who do you think was more depressed? Pre-move me or post-move me?

The truth of the matter is, neither. I was just as depressed in both situations.

While I was being tormented by classmates, I would think..."If only I was more popular, then I wouldn't be so down in the dumps." But when I was more popular, I was amazed that I was still depressed! Of course, at this point in my life, I didn't realize that I was clinically depressed. I had to put on a happy face to fool my 'following', but I still went home and cried. I would lay awake most the night, worrying about so many different things. Worried about my friends. Worried about tomorrow's exam. Worried about my mom who had been ill. Anything I could possibly be worried about, I was anxious and depressed all day, every day.

Back to perception, I think that not only my perception of normalcy, but everyone around me had a flawed perception of what was normal! I would even go so far as to say that normalcy does not exist. We are all unique beings. There is nobody like you in this world. Nobody on this planet is normal. So let's start looking at our lives from a fresh perspective.

Let's talk.