Who Amongst Us is Strong?

Today was an okay day. I got up around noon and struggled with dizziness and nausea for a few hours, but overall it was a good day because today, I was the Master of the Universe and today I felt strong.

Or so I thought. All it took to shift my world upside down was my crazy-ass husband flipping out on me for allowing the stew to over cook. Suddenly, my brave façade, was flushed down the toilet. I didn't say anything. I just added some hot water to the stew and quietly took his over reaction, but inside, something inside of me began to die.

Immediately, my mind was flooded with negative thoughts and ways in which to get back at my husband (somehow, salt in his tea sounded a bit immature). I began to spiral down into my deep, dark, ugly depression.

My only saving grace was the fact that I chatted with a new friend online, and he reminded me that I am in control of my own emotional state. Slowly, as I listened to his problems, mine did not seem so big anymore. I found positive thoughts dripping from my fingers onto our PM and even after we said 'goodnight', I began to feel stronger once again. The strength continued to inspire me to write my mom an email (not an easy feat) and then to move on to my daily blog.

I've said all this to say, that, sometimes the strongest among us are the ones who smile through silent pain and fight battles we know nothing about. If I am any gauge by which to judge, then let me define bravery for you. Depression is one of the most challenging of all wars and only the brave survive. Strength may come and go at random, and so much of the battle is hidden from the people around us, but only the brave and the strong will come thru it as Master of the Universe. So hang in there. If I can do it, you can do it too.

Let's talk.